Almost had you there, didn't I? You thought I was gonna go all Shakespeare on you? Not really, I heard a lot this Shakespearean play, and I may have seen it, but that's not really what this blog is about.
For all my blog fans out there, I'm sorry for not writing the last 2 days, I've been busy. Busy doing what? I have no freaking idea! Absolutely nothing. I actually was too busy doing absolutely nothing. Have you ever had that feeling before?
Why do we get that? You're sitting there, doing nothing. You can't do anything else, because you're already doing something else - nothing! Doing nothing is something, I'm sure you know that. Never mind that.
My mom wipes our dog's mouth! No wait, I have to tell you this story... You see, I ordered fried chicken from KFC, I devoured all the chicken and naturally left the bones (because I don't eat bones). I gave them to Jack (our dog, not the guy who loves his beanstalk). Jack (again, our dog) totally loved the fried chicken bones, he devoured them to the last drop). Now my mom (obcessive compulsive when it comes to cleanliness and tidiness) takes one of Jack's towels (yes, Jack the dog has his own towels) and wipes his mouth (my mom wiped Jack's mouth - he didn't wipe his own mouth, now that would be something else!). My mom's explanation to that is: the chicken bones are oily, now Jack's mouth will be oily and he will make the carpet and floor's oily. I learned not to argue with my mom.
Family is great! I don't usually get to spend quality time with the family, which sucks. This last week has been great. I'm doing nothing but spending time with my mom, dad, sister and her kids; Nooreldeen (www.nooreldeen.com) and Sama (website coming very soon). Family is one of those things you take for granted, you don't really appreciate it except when you're alone. If you live with your family - count your blessings!
Jack LOVES apple and pear cores, lettuce, and ta3meya (don't ask!).
More later.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
We're Surrounded by Idiots
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Disclaimer
This post frequently refers to idiots. If you believe you're an idiot or have been called an idiot frequently, please don't read it. If you do read, please don't be offended.
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Did you ever feel you're surrounded by idiots? Do you think that people are generally stupid? How many times a day do you call someone an idiot (in your mind)? If it's someone driving in the wrong direction, cuts you off, smoking where they shouldn't, pushing both elevator buttons, or generally doing something stupid - I get that a lot!
I feel that people are generally stupid (them not us). I can’t stand the guy that pushes both elevator buttons. I am pretty sure he knows it’s wrong. The guy I hate even more, is the one pushing both elevator buttons and acting stupid – when it stops and you’re inside he’d go “are you going up?” you give him the totally fake smile and point downwards, so he gives you the disappointed smile and doesn’t get on.
Another type of stupid is the lady driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street. Ladies can’t drive, let alone use the reverse gear, so she plays blonde and stops, occasionally waving her hands in the air telling you to go back.
More stupid is the guy who calls you up in the middle of the night. You pick up the phone and your voice sounds like you’re right in the middle of surgery and you can barely mutter “herrroo” and he goes “Hey! Are you asleep?” I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I believe that telling someone that you’re asleep when you in fact are is rude, so almost always I would go “nuh, iz ukey” and the guy would continue talking!
I absolutely hate it when you make a fast food delivery order and the call center guy reads off your entire address to you, every single time. That is so irritating!
I’m sure there’s a lot more stupid, but right now I gotta sleep. Maybe I’ll do an idiots part 2.
Disclaimer
This post frequently refers to idiots. If you believe you're an idiot or have been called an idiot frequently, please don't read it. If you do read, please don't be offended.
---------
Did you ever feel you're surrounded by idiots? Do you think that people are generally stupid? How many times a day do you call someone an idiot (in your mind)? If it's someone driving in the wrong direction, cuts you off, smoking where they shouldn't, pushing both elevator buttons, or generally doing something stupid - I get that a lot!
I feel that people are generally stupid (them not us). I can’t stand the guy that pushes both elevator buttons. I am pretty sure he knows it’s wrong. The guy I hate even more, is the one pushing both elevator buttons and acting stupid – when it stops and you’re inside he’d go “are you going up?” you give him the totally fake smile and point downwards, so he gives you the disappointed smile and doesn’t get on.
Another type of stupid is the lady driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street. Ladies can’t drive, let alone use the reverse gear, so she plays blonde and stops, occasionally waving her hands in the air telling you to go back.
More stupid is the guy who calls you up in the middle of the night. You pick up the phone and your voice sounds like you’re right in the middle of surgery and you can barely mutter “herrroo” and he goes “Hey! Are you asleep?” I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I believe that telling someone that you’re asleep when you in fact are is rude, so almost always I would go “nuh, iz ukey” and the guy would continue talking!
I absolutely hate it when you make a fast food delivery order and the call center guy reads off your entire address to you, every single time. That is so irritating!
I’m sure there’s a lot more stupid, but right now I gotta sleep. Maybe I’ll do an idiots part 2.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
When Shit Hits the Fan
Take cover.
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WARNING
The contents of this post are linguistically visual in nature. Reader discretion is advised!
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Have you ever heard of this expression before? When shit hits the fan? I can't recall when or where I heard it, but I simply love it, maybe it's because I'm a graphical and disgusting person by nature.
Picture it. There's a fan on high speed, and there's a large ball of shit flying straight ahead at you, you duck, the piece of shit misses you, and it hits the fan! Tiny squirts of shit (it's probably soft shit - not the hard constipated type) storm through the room, they hit you in the face, all over your body, all over the walls (you wonder how such a small ball of shit ended up in this giant mess), it's in your eyes, ears, and hair, and it's just plain smelly and disgusting!
Now that there's shit all over you and all over the room, what are you going to do? Assuming you were dumb enough to let shit hit the fan, you have one of two things to do:
1) Be a chicken-shit, run away, take a long shower and never go in that room again
2) Do the responsible and mature thing and clean up the fucking shit you caused in the first place
There really isn't a third option... Think about it.
What's my point behind all this disgustingness? Don't wait for shit to hit the fan, and if you're an idiot and you wait, for god's sake DON'T DUCK! If the piece of shit already came flying at your face, then you probably caused it (because shit doesn't just come flying at your face). The room is your life. And the shit is some fuck-up that you caused. Own up to your shit! Because at the end of the day, it's your shit - nobody's elses, and as I always say: it's better to take your shit in your face than anybody else's, well I never actually said that before - it should be a proverb, it kind of has a nice ring to it, it's better to take your shit in your face than anybody else's.
---------
WARNING
The contents of this post are linguistically visual in nature. Reader discretion is advised!
---------
Have you ever heard of this expression before? When shit hits the fan? I can't recall when or where I heard it, but I simply love it, maybe it's because I'm a graphical and disgusting person by nature.
Picture it. There's a fan on high speed, and there's a large ball of shit flying straight ahead at you, you duck, the piece of shit misses you, and it hits the fan! Tiny squirts of shit (it's probably soft shit - not the hard constipated type) storm through the room, they hit you in the face, all over your body, all over the walls (you wonder how such a small ball of shit ended up in this giant mess), it's in your eyes, ears, and hair, and it's just plain smelly and disgusting!
Now that there's shit all over you and all over the room, what are you going to do? Assuming you were dumb enough to let shit hit the fan, you have one of two things to do:
1) Be a chicken-shit, run away, take a long shower and never go in that room again
2) Do the responsible and mature thing and clean up the fucking shit you caused in the first place
There really isn't a third option... Think about it.
What's my point behind all this disgustingness? Don't wait for shit to hit the fan, and if you're an idiot and you wait, for god's sake DON'T DUCK! If the piece of shit already came flying at your face, then you probably caused it (because shit doesn't just come flying at your face). The room is your life. And the shit is some fuck-up that you caused. Own up to your shit! Because at the end of the day, it's your shit - nobody's elses, and as I always say: it's better to take your shit in your face than anybody else's, well I never actually said that before - it should be a proverb, it kind of has a nice ring to it, it's better to take your shit in your face than anybody else's.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Random Thoughts
Do animals talk? Do they have a language of their own? Animals make sounds, I know that, but what do the sounds mean? Even if they did talk, what would they say? If I were a dog, I would have tons to say to another dog, this is what our conversation would sound like:
Me: Woof! (hello)
Dog2: Wo-oof (hey there!)
Me: Woof woof wuuf (good day huh? out on a walk?)
Dog2: Arf arf wuf (yup, the sun's shining and I just peed)
Me: Woof woof woof woooof (I got a hell of a scratch from my master the other day, you should try it)
Dogs don't need to talk really, their lives are pretty boring the poor creatures. I had a good scratch, had a good meal, chased a cat... That's pretty much it!
What about cats? I laid around all day today. That's pretty much it.
Why is Cairo University NOT in Cairo (it's in Giza)?
Why is Zamalek club NOT in Zamalek?
Why is Ahly club in Zamalek?
Why is Ain Shams University called that when it's no where NEAR Ain Shams?
Why does Monday come before Tuesday? (that's too Michael Jacksonish)
Why do people (them not us) push both elevator buttons regardless of which direction they're going?
Why does my stupid wireless connection keep losing signal and then reconnect automatically and I haven't moved?
Why is Canada more than 10 hours away?
With all our technology, why can't we invent teleportation?
Why am I asking all these stupid questions?
Me: Woof! (hello)
Dog2: Wo-oof (hey there!)
Me: Woof woof wuuf (good day huh? out on a walk?)
Dog2: Arf arf wuf (yup, the sun's shining and I just peed)
Me: Woof woof woof woooof (I got a hell of a scratch from my master the other day, you should try it)
Dogs don't need to talk really, their lives are pretty boring the poor creatures. I had a good scratch, had a good meal, chased a cat... That's pretty much it!
What about cats? I laid around all day today. That's pretty much it.
Why is Cairo University NOT in Cairo (it's in Giza)?
Why is Zamalek club NOT in Zamalek?
Why is Ahly club in Zamalek?
Why is Ain Shams University called that when it's no where NEAR Ain Shams?
Why does Monday come before Tuesday? (that's too Michael Jacksonish)
Why do people (them not us) push both elevator buttons regardless of which direction they're going?
Why does my stupid wireless connection keep losing signal and then reconnect automatically and I haven't moved?
Why is Canada more than 10 hours away?
With all our technology, why can't we invent teleportation?
Why am I asking all these stupid questions?
My New Place
I'm looking forward to my new place. I never really had a place of my own before, and it sounds pretty exciting for me. My new bed, my new cupboard, my new TV (well, I had my own TV before, but you know what I mean), my new everything (Sama is actually using my belly as a trampoline now).
I still don't know what my style is, no clue what colors I prefer (because according to the friend I occasionally quote in my posts; I have the "khaleeji" character - everything works for me, I don't have favorites :)
Checked Ikea Canada website for furniture and I found some stuff I liked, kind of cool planning your new place. It's like I'm getting married hehehe :)
I still don't know if I'm going to want to live downtown, by a lake, near a mountain (are there any mountains in Ottawa?) so I think I'm going to try first and decide later. We'll see.
I still don't know what my style is, no clue what colors I prefer (because according to the friend I occasionally quote in my posts; I have the "khaleeji" character - everything works for me, I don't have favorites :)
Checked Ikea Canada website for furniture and I found some stuff I liked, kind of cool planning your new place. It's like I'm getting married hehehe :)
I still don't know if I'm going to want to live downtown, by a lake, near a mountain (are there any mountains in Ottawa?) so I think I'm going to try first and decide later. We'll see.
My New Persona
I never actually thought of my new persona. It's kind of like writing the screenplay of a new movie. My options are open and infinite. I now have the chance to fix all the flaws of my previous persona. To begin, I guess I need to list all aspects I don't like about my persona and fix them.
Boredom
I shouldn't bore that easily. I need to think of things that interest me and actually do them. Did I mention that I'm a master procrastinator? For almost all tasks, I can actually draw up very legitimate reasons to procrastinate.
Exercise
I HATE exercise, in all forms, shapes, colors, flavors, and sizes. That should change. I am actually looking forward to the natural wilderness and walking in a decent park, around a lake, and all that stuff. That should be cool.
Smoking
I _NEED_ to quit smoking, I know I'm going to have a very hard time with smoking there, because smoking isn't allowed almost anywhere, so that's something I need to change.
Pets
I never had a pet, my parents recently adopted a dog in Doha and it's amazing, definitely an option. Still not sure cat or dog (or maybe tarantula), but I need to think of that.
That should do it for now, I'll bet there's more but I like to keep my posts short and simple (unlike some people I know :P).
Boredom
I shouldn't bore that easily. I need to think of things that interest me and actually do them. Did I mention that I'm a master procrastinator? For almost all tasks, I can actually draw up very legitimate reasons to procrastinate.
Exercise
I HATE exercise, in all forms, shapes, colors, flavors, and sizes. That should change. I am actually looking forward to the natural wilderness and walking in a decent park, around a lake, and all that stuff. That should be cool.
Smoking
I _NEED_ to quit smoking, I know I'm going to have a very hard time with smoking there, because smoking isn't allowed almost anywhere, so that's something I need to change.
Pets
I never had a pet, my parents recently adopted a dog in Doha and it's amazing, definitely an option. Still not sure cat or dog (or maybe tarantula), but I need to think of that.
That should do it for now, I'll bet there's more but I like to keep my posts short and simple (unlike some people I know :P).
Two Guys, a Hot Blonde, and Jack (based on a true story)
The hot blonde was already wide awake in her bed when I walked into her room. I looked at her, smiled, and held her in my arms. I took her into the kitchen to fix her breakfast. As soon as we went into the kitchen, Jack walked in too, jealous of our affection, he circled the both of us. He felt neglected, he wanted my affection, he wanted her affection.
That's not the actual sequence of events that happened this morning, let me explain.
I woke up at around 8.30am very thirsty, so I went downstairs for a drink of water... Downstairs was Noor (my nephew) holding the new toy I got him yesterday in his hand, he couldn't open it, and Jack (the dog) was sitting calmly beside him. I heard Sama (my baby niece) crying in her room, I went inside quitely (because Sally was asleep on the bed) and picked her up from her bed and took her outside.
This situation is pretty new for me, I did some babysitting in my days, but never for two kids and a dog. Jack adores Sama, but she's terrified of him. With Sama in one arm, and Noor's new toy in the other, and my leg stroking Jack. I tried to assemble the new toy for him. Noor was hungry so we went into the kitchen to try to find something for him to eat. Mom and Sally were both still asleep. Still very scared of Jack, I decided to lock him in the kitchen, and took Noor and Sama outside.
Noor now was pretty busy with his newly assembled toy, and I was holding Sama.
Disaster struck! I got a sudden bathroom attack (morning number 2). I didn't know what to do. I started to panic, pacing frantically around the house with Sama. I thought of taking her in the bathroom with me but it felt utterly weird. I took her inside Sally's room and put her inside her bed and silently acted "I'll be right back, don't worry". It didn't work, she started to cry, so I picked her up right away... The urge grew. Aaaaaargh. I went upstairs, woke up my mom and left Sama with her and went to fulfill the call of nature.
It was a tough ordeal, really was.
That's not the actual sequence of events that happened this morning, let me explain.
I woke up at around 8.30am very thirsty, so I went downstairs for a drink of water... Downstairs was Noor (my nephew) holding the new toy I got him yesterday in his hand, he couldn't open it, and Jack (the dog) was sitting calmly beside him. I heard Sama (my baby niece) crying in her room, I went inside quitely (because Sally was asleep on the bed) and picked her up from her bed and took her outside.
This situation is pretty new for me, I did some babysitting in my days, but never for two kids and a dog. Jack adores Sama, but she's terrified of him. With Sama in one arm, and Noor's new toy in the other, and my leg stroking Jack. I tried to assemble the new toy for him. Noor was hungry so we went into the kitchen to try to find something for him to eat. Mom and Sally were both still asleep. Still very scared of Jack, I decided to lock him in the kitchen, and took Noor and Sama outside.
Noor now was pretty busy with his newly assembled toy, and I was holding Sama.
Disaster struck! I got a sudden bathroom attack (morning number 2). I didn't know what to do. I started to panic, pacing frantically around the house with Sama. I thought of taking her in the bathroom with me but it felt utterly weird. I took her inside Sally's room and put her inside her bed and silently acted "I'll be right back, don't worry". It didn't work, she started to cry, so I picked her up right away... The urge grew. Aaaaaargh. I went upstairs, woke up my mom and left Sama with her and went to fulfill the call of nature.
It was a tough ordeal, really was.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
The Boring Me
I bore easily. Oh yeah. I recently discovered that I am a very boring person. I occasionally bore the hell out of me. I don't know how people stand me. I know a little about a lot of things. Can't really say that I know a lot about one particular thing. Except of course Communications, heheh. To hell with that, I know a lot about a lot of things (for all of you out there who think that "alot" is a word - you're wrong, there's no such word, it's actually two words).
I got into a discussion with a friend the other day (well, not just a friend, slightly more than a friend, we sort of had a thing, but that's in the past now, we dated, ok?), and she told me that I didn't know what I wanted, which is true. Like for example, right now I'm tired, I want to sleep. No wait, I'm too bored to sleep. I'm too bored to be tired. You see what I mean? I'm too bored to finish this post. I'm too tired to be bored.
Maybe I'm boring coz I am bored. Does that even make any sense?
I think I'll go to bed now, and tomorrow I'll tell me all about my new place. My dreams, my hopes, my aspirations (I love aspirations, it's such a cool word).
I got into a discussion with a friend the other day (well, not just a friend, slightly more than a friend, we sort of had a thing, but that's in the past now, we dated, ok?), and she told me that I didn't know what I wanted, which is true. Like for example, right now I'm tired, I want to sleep. No wait, I'm too bored to sleep. I'm too bored to be tired. You see what I mean? I'm too bored to finish this post. I'm too tired to be bored.
Maybe I'm boring coz I am bored. Does that even make any sense?
I think I'll go to bed now, and tomorrow I'll tell me all about my new place. My dreams, my hopes, my aspirations (I love aspirations, it's such a cool word).
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Long Live the Bed
Staying with the folks got me thinking about my new bed... Picture this, the bed I'm sleeping on today, is the bed I slept on in 1985! Ain't that funny? Here's the story, when my parents moved from Abu Dhabi to Doha, they took some furniture with them. Why was my 85 bed still there you ask? Unlike many other people in Abu Dhabi, my parents hated moving.
With every promotion/grade change, you get more benefits, housing allowance is one of them. So most people we knew back there, kept on changing houses every couple of years or so. Not my parents. We had one house in Ruwais, and only two in Abu Dhabi, the first house was really aweful, it was an old building and so on. As soon as my dad got the opportunity to move, we did.
We moved to a very nice place, new high rise building under Bugatti, and we never moved again. My point being this. Back in Ruwais, we were a family of 4, when we moved to Abu Dhabi to the new building, Sally had almost finished school and went on to Egypt for college, couple of years later and I followed. My parents would keep the furniture, that was in pretty decent condition for when Sally and I come for visits. Naturally some furniture died, and they got replacements, but Sally's and my bed, they lived.
What's my point? I forgot.
With every promotion/grade change, you get more benefits, housing allowance is one of them. So most people we knew back there, kept on changing houses every couple of years or so. Not my parents. We had one house in Ruwais, and only two in Abu Dhabi, the first house was really aweful, it was an old building and so on. As soon as my dad got the opportunity to move, we did.
We moved to a very nice place, new high rise building under Bugatti, and we never moved again. My point being this. Back in Ruwais, we were a family of 4, when we moved to Abu Dhabi to the new building, Sally had almost finished school and went on to Egypt for college, couple of years later and I followed. My parents would keep the furniture, that was in pretty decent condition for when Sally and I come for visits. Naturally some furniture died, and they got replacements, but Sally's and my bed, they lived.
What's my point? I forgot.
The Pause of an Era
Well, it happened! Didn't see it coming, but it did. It's not really the end of an era, more like the pause of an era, no idea what happens next. Kind of confused. Not just confused really... It's a combination of scared, happy, relieved, scared (did I say scared?), worried. I don't know. Feels funny. I know I want to do it, but it's just too hard. It's not just the place, it's the people too. The people made it too hard. I hope it's only a matter of time.
Scared of the unkown.
Happy for the new experience to come.
Relieved it's all over.
Scared of being alone.
Worried it doesn't turn as planned.
With the folks in Doha now, the entire family actually. We don't do that often. Feels good, feels like home. It can't be home, I never really lived here before, but you know what I mean.
Trying to take some serious time off before it all begins... My new life.
Scared of the unkown.
Happy for the new experience to come.
Relieved it's all over.
Scared of being alone.
Worried it doesn't turn as planned.
With the folks in Doha now, the entire family actually. We don't do that often. Feels good, feels like home. It can't be home, I never really lived here before, but you know what I mean.
Trying to take some serious time off before it all begins... My new life.
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